


Different Memories

by Izzycle



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Memories, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-01 07:02:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18795334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Izzycle/pseuds/Izzycle
Summary: Recollection/ comparison of different memories, of before Dion died, and after being resurrected





	Different Memories

Differences... So many different circumstances, experiences, and ways of living. So many different actions, reactions... all in the same person... _somehow_

Asra loved Dion then, and he loved him now. Although both representations of Dion, they were completely unrecognisable as the same person. Asra loved both versions of the freckled sweetheart, but he can’t help but pine for who he used to be.

One was brought up in a loving family, finally free to be himself and to explore the world, free to make his own name for himself. Dion then was so happy to be alive, to be himself, and it was difficult to see any darkness when around him. All worries just slipped away.

Now, he was raised alone, dependant on Asra to be able to know how to survive. He was then raised by himself, being completely on his own a large portion of the time, never daring to leave the shop without Asra there.

Those happy moments that Dion felt, dwindled down and are barely seen - besides from the occasional small smile, or hidden moments alone. No longer was he happy in himself, confident in his skin and who he is. He never wanted to be around anyone due to the paranoia of how he is seen by others - _when no one would think of anything as bad as what he thinks of himself._

Those soft blushes that Asra loved to bring out of him, turned into violent things that took up his whole face, suffocating any breaths he could be taking, or words that could be spoken.

He was a shell of himself, and Asra couldn’t help spending the many days away, recollecting memories and comparing the two different Dions he knew.

 

* * *

 

The sun was just setting when the magician finally arrived back home, using what seemed like a colossal amount of strength to find the energy to open the door and put down his bag. It wasn’t a particularly hard journey, but the moment Asra had collected what was needed, he rushed back home, not wanting to be away a moment longer than necessary.

He was almost silent, hoping to surprise Dion, but Faust is overly excited, and shouts out the second the door opens

“ **Home!** ”

There is a small silence before a large bash can be heard upstairs - Dion scrabbling to get his mug of tea down as fast as possible so he could get to them, somehow making a huge mess of it when he would have usually been able to do so like any normal person would.

Muffled curses come along with more bangs, and Asra has to smother a chuckle when Dion pops his head at the top of the stairs.

“Hi...” Asra smiles softly, looking up towards the person he loved - who he hated being away from for every second he was gone.

Dion runs down, not learning from the previous stumbles in his enthusiasm to get to Asra. His right cheek dimples softly, as it always does when he has such a big smile on his face. The left never reacts the same way, despite the amount of teasing prods Asra may inflict it with.

“Hi yourself,” he mumbles, pausing in front of Asra, slightly unsure of himself.

A small moment is all it takes for Dion to grab Asra into a large hug, head crushed against the other’s chest while Asra runs his hands in Dion’s fluffy hair - hair that almost rivals his own curls.

He presses a small kiss to the top of Dion’s head, who then looks up at him, eyes twinkling and a small blush forming. One of Asra’s favourite looks, it melts his heart to see his other half be so happy to be around him, and he can’t help but run his thumb affectionately along the warming nose.

Dion tries to softly pull away, a small apology for the enthusiastic response being formed, but Asra crushes them together once again, before spreading kisses over his hair, making Dion laugh against his chest.

Looking up, Asra cups Dion’s face softly, searching his eyes, meaning to say something about how much he missed the other, express how much he loved him and was happy to be home. Instead, without even thinking, he’s softly kissing him instead. His lips are so light against Dion’s but his fingers in his hair are soon tightening as Dion tentatively rises on his tiptoes to get an easier reach.

Asra’s lips grow passionate, showing how needy he had become over this week spent alone. When he starts pulling soft pleased noises from Dion, Asra almost can’t stop himself from pressing harder, holder him tighter - making it clear he wanted to never let him go.

“ _IMissedYouIMissedYouIMissedYou_ ,” he murmurs, his words muffled by their kisses, his breath tickling their joined lips. He continues to murmur this, but he makes no effort to stop the kisses, just wanting more and more.

“ **Miss too!** ” Came a slightly disgruntled snake, who is quickly curling up onto Dion’s shoulders, unhappy over the prospect of missing out in a warm welcome.

Both magicians laugh while Asra reaches out to scratch her chin lightly, “I think she’s a bit jealous of the attention” he tries to get out without cracking a smile, after-all, this was a very serious issue and the poor snake is obviously neglected.

“Now Noodle, you know you’re my best girl,” Dion grins before rubbing noses with the now much happier snake, “I missed having our cuddles every day you were gone”

Although this was directed to her, Dion looks over to Asra with a gleam in his eye, who knew that this statement was towards him as well.

He was just... _just so cute_ \- and Asra had to squeeze Dion into a massive hug before muffling into his shoulder “Why do I ever leave?”

“I mean don’t ask me, I’d have you around all the time if I had any say in the situation,” Dion strokes Asra’s curls softy, before pressing a kiss to his cheek and pulling him up to look into his eyes, a small, shy, but happy smile as he does so.

 

* * *

 

Dropping his bag tiredly, Asra looks out to the quiet shop, the bell above him jingling loud enough that his presence couldn’t go unknown.

_Huh. That was new... well no point in pretending he’s not home..._

“Hey, Dion?”

A large silence, so large that Asra almost considers that Dion isn’t home, or that he hasn’t been heard. That is until he looks up and sees Dion there, his footsteps so quiet and timid that even Faust didn’t notice them.

Fingers pluck at the fraying gloves, and Dion looks to the side, not meeting Asra’s eyes, or moving to walk down the stairs to greet him.

“Welcome home...” he mutters, before turning around and going back upstairs to the living room.

Asra sighs to himself, collecting himself a little, hating the sad and timid look that is etched on Dion’s face. Nowadays it feels like such a look is permanently there.

He slowly goes up the stairs, hoping to gain a smile again by the time they come face-to-face, but feeling the tenseness in his face easily give away what he’s feeling. He gains a few more moments to gain a fake smile when seeing that Dion is silently sorting out the kettle, making some tea for the both of them, with his back to Asra.

_Was he this bad last time?_

It feels like every time Asra leaves, Dion pulls away more, sinking timidly into himself. Every time he’s lost a bit more of his happiness, and confidence. The only reason Asra even leaves is because it’s so hard to be around Dion when his feelings are no longer returned, in reality, all Asra wants is to hold him, press kisses wherever he can reach.

It’s so hard being under the same roof, and as he stays longer, the more Dion opens up, and the harder it becomes again - because Asa is given some sort of glimpse of how they used to be. But then again, moments like this, seeing how sad and alone Dion is, how much being isolated affects him and in turn makes him unable to get out, it breaks Asra’s heart a little, knowing that he’s causing this. He just can’t seem to win, hurting them both of them over and over,

“Are he making some tea?” He asks, already knowing the answer to the obvious question, but feeling so awkward that he doesn’t know what to say or do.

Dion silently places the pot and cups on a tray and walks over to the seats by the window, before looking up with a small, forced smile.

Faust slithers off of Asra’s shoulders sadly, if one thing that hasn’t changed, it’s that the two of them were still incredibly close, even if he was unable to understand what she is saying anymore.

“ **Warm?** ” She attempts, looking up from the seat next to Dion, who just guesses what she may want and scratched her head.

At least this was a better way to keep his hands busy instead of picking at his gloves like usual.

She curls up on his knee, settles in to ‘warm up’ Dion’s knee, their old favourite position to spend lazy days in.

“ **Missed you** ” Faust says looking up towards Asra, trying to break the obvious tension.

She understands that Dion doesn’t have his old memories, but can’t seem to understand why they don’t act the same any longer.

He smiles, hoping to not show any sadness that is running through him but probably just resulting in something tense looking, and not at all comforting. He sits down opposite Dion, before pouring the familiar Jasmine tea out.

_He supposed that was a good sign - Dion wouldn’t use his favourite tea for Asra, if he hated him, would he?_

“ **Missed you** ,” he hears again, a slightly more disgruntled Faust says towards Asra pointedly, and when he doesn’t reply instantly she says more impatiently “ **Miss you!!** ”

Sighing, knowing she doesn’t know why this would be awkward to say, despite his true feelings, Asra concedes, and offers a small smile towards Dion, who hasn’t looked up from the floor

“Hey...” he murmurs until Dion looks up slowly, while playing with his bottom lip nervously, “I missed you...”

He tried to put as much truthful emotion into his voice, but it was clear that Dion didn’t believe that that was true.

 

* * *

 

He fiddled with Asra’s scarf casually, using it as an excuse to hold him still before looking up.

“Do you have to go again?”

It breaks both of the magician’s hearts being apart from the other, and if they had their ways, Asra would never have to leave

Sweeping Dion up in a big crushing hug, Asra murmurs against his hair, “Trust me, if we weren’t desperate for supplies I would be napping with you by the window,” he smirks, before brushing some of Dion’s mess from his face and kissing his nose, “all I could want is to disappear in our own world together, but sadly you insist we need to make money”

Dion laughs at the lighthearted comment, his eyes sparkling with joy, as they always do in Asra’s presence.

“ _Take me with you then_ ”, he smiles up, and when Asra goes to answer, he quickly adds in, “I will be fine, wherever dangerous places you go, I can deal, _I just want to be with you.”_

The words are sincere, and he says them - even though he knows that if it were possible, he’d already be packed and ready to go together.

Instead Asra smiles at him sadly.

“You know I’d love nothing more”, is the whispered reply, paired with a kiss on the head, and hepulled away softly to put his bag over his shoulder, “But you’ve been putting off all the custom orders we’ve gotten, and if I have to work then you do too...”

He pauses, making sure he has everything, and seemingly satisfied, grabs Dion into a sudden, hard, but not rough kiss, lingering with all the affection and want he has for him.

Smirking down, he thumbs Dion’s chin, “And you know if we’re together we won’t be getting any work done... But I’ll make it up to you when I get back...”

Smiling, Dion goes onto his tiptoes to brush his lips against Asra’s cheek lightly, “Just bring yourself back, you know I don’t need gifts...”

Chuckling low, with a mischievous smirk Asra leans forward to whisper to Dion, “ _Oh no,_ how I was planning to make it up to you _definitely_ doesn’t require anything but me...”

He pulls away, causing Dion to blush a bright pink, and fumble at a response, not realising what Asra had meant originally.

Laughing, Asra gives one last kiss to him on the lips, with a small wink, “I’ll see you soon, my heart” and turns to the door to leave.

Dion grabs his hand tightly and pulls him back around with more strength, and surprise, than Asra expects, and he lurches back. Not pausing, Dion grabs his face roughly and puts all the feeling he can into a passionate kiss, only pulling away when he gets Asra to let out a ragged moan.

“ _Hurry home_ ”

 

* * *

 

“Asra you’re... _you’re going..._ ”

It wasn’t even a question, just a statement. It was obvious when Asra is stood at the door, about to put on his hat, and his bag already slung over his shoulders.

“Dion! I... I was just about to find you...”

_He wasn’t, he was just going to write a note._

“I have to rush out, I’m sorry, there um... there’s something I’ve found out I need to grab, it’s urgent...”

_No it wasn’t, he just couldn’t stand being so close to Dion right now._

He grins awkwardly while Dion stares silently, and Asra wonders just how well he’s hiding his feelings.

The longer they spend together, the more Dion starts to open up again. It’s nothing in comparison to how he used to be, but a massive difference to the closed off Dion he receives every time when returning home.

Just this morning, he woke up, their legs intertwined, and Dion tightly holding onto Asra’s shirt.

He didn’t realise what time he was in when waking up, almost thinking that this must be an amazing dream for him to embrace now and most likely feel guilty about later. It wasn’t until he started to lightly kiss Dion’s cheeks, forehead, hands, that he realised all this... it all felt too real.

Ashamed by the mess up, Asra started to pack straight away.

_Of course Dion wouldn’t have knowingly cuddled into him._

Asra knew that this would be the case, and wondered how disgusted or uncomfortable he would have been to know that that is how Asra was acting towards him... _he had to get away before he slipped up, get his head straight again._

Asra was leaving once again, and Dion wonders why he still stays around, when his presence is so clearly unwanted. Maybe it was out of duty towards his apprentice, not wanting to leave Dion alone for too long. So he sticks around, pretending to enjoy his company, staying as long as he can stand before going away on another one of his adventures.

It breaks him every time - despite how often Dion reminds himself that his feelings aren’t returned, that he would never be _close_ to enough for him - and after a few days he finds himself unable to keep so distant to Asra. It’s one of the few times he felt somewhat happy, and over time he feels his barriers around his heart break down more. But, the second he tricks himself into thinking Asra actually enjoys his company... he leaves.

Dion vows to himself, this time... this time he wont slip again, this time he’ll stay closed off. Make things easier for Asra, so he no longer stays for duty.

_He’d just spend his time alone, he doesn’t need anyone else - evidently. He gets anxious around others, but why does it matter if he doesn’t interact with anyone?_

He’d be kidding himself if he thought it would be easy to just drop off the world like he wishes at these moments - melancholy and sometimes self destructive moods instantly smothering him the second Asra can’t stand his company any longer.

“Good luck” he mutters out, feeling his throat start to close up, making it hard to get any words out.

Asra pauses, as if he is about to say something, and instead gives Dion a swift hug before leaving.

Not around to see the aftermath, Asra doesn’t see how much hurt this causes Dion, who has convinced himself all actions are out of duty, pity, and not because of a want to be around him. He just saw this whole situation as Asra trying to escape him.

He looks at the room in front of him, much more grey than when he entered, and goes to sit by the window, stare off at the world... so he doesn’t have to actually participate in it.

 

* * *

 

The first time he saw the trees, he was in awe. Before he even entered Vesuvia, his feet brought him to the trees surrounding the city, never had he felt such a calming aura, such a beautiful and relaxing place as this.

Back at the village, they had nothing like this around - being in the middle of the desert. The most he saw was small plants surrounding other’s gardens and windows. But this was so much more beautiful than any of the planned set ups he grew up around, this was something so free-growing, untouched by others.

Looking at this forest, he knew, that _this_ was the place he would finally be free, finally be himself.

He didn’t have a place to stay, but this had never bothered him on his travels before, his nights spent happily camping out under the stars, or if he was able to find one, staying at an inn with some of the money he got before setting off.

He had half a mind to not even look for a room to stay in when he saw the forest, but tore himself away for as long as he could manage to put things in place. The sun was starting to set when he rushed back.

Many people would have warned him that its unsafe to go to the forest at night, the reduced visibility paired with the unknown there? But even if he received any warnings - Dion would not have listened. _There was no way such a beautiful place would endanger him._

Light, warm rays struggle through the trees, and within a second of entering the area, Dion removes his shoes. Not even knowing why, just knowing that this is what he should do, it was a feeling very similar to the one which told him to go to the forest, to slowly make his way through this beautiful maze of nature. No worry about whether he’d find his way back out, trusting that everything will turn out as calmly as they started.

Coming across a small clearing, he feels a sharp tug in his chest, causing him to stumble over the flat dirt and pause. His mind has been almost empty since entering the forest, and he had been working on instinct alone. His instinct was never that strong, instead Dion analysed his surroundings, and the people in them well before making decisions, but here - everything was decided by the tightness in his chest, It was like his own heart was telling him exactly where he should go, and what he should do.

Sitting down under a tree, he looks out at the word around him, and breathes out a soft noise, something more relaxed than he’s ever heard from himself.

Hours passed with the young boy slipping further and further down the trunk, until he is fully laid down in the dirt, looking up at the night sky, feet and palms rested into the dirt, and hair spread out underneath him.

_This was his new home._

 

* * *

 

His days were slipping further into melancholy, and when they weren’t a crushing depression, Dion would instead slip into violent hatred. You wouldn’t have been able to tell outwardly the way he was feeling, he was as reclusive and silent as ever, but inwardly, all he did was go over insults to himself.

_Asra leaving is his fault._

_He can’t even do magic right._

_Can’t leave on his own_

_Cant’ do anything right_

_Can’t even be around people on his own._

This would go on throughout the days, and no one would be around to care - know from the way he shut himself off. He would just be better off leaving, not bothering this person he cares so much for anymore.

For a few split moments, the usual anxiety that fills Dion is not present, suffocated by the determination to just leave. So he grabs a bag, shoves random clothes and coins in, and leaves in under 5 minutes.

His footsteps slapping against the hot stones underneath, he hadn’t even bothered to put shoes on. He only ever did so to please Asra anyway, he hated the way they felt, they just added to the weight he felt in his chest.

He forces himself forward, in no time making it to the marketplace - without having a direction he was purposefully following, and not hearing anything gong on around him.

A couple were animatedly chatting, and don’t notice Dion until one knocks into him. Offering a brief apology, they continuing on their way, not looking twice at him. This touch knocks him back to the present, finally he can see what is going on, hear all the people, and feel the anxiety and panic start to creep up like a hand gripping on his throat.

He can’t breathe, and his eyes prick with unshed tears and he looks around him, not knowing how to act, what to do.

_What was he thinking coming out here on his own? He can’t do this._

He runs, isn’t even thinking about doing it, until he is already turned around and fleeing in the opposite direction. His anger and embarrassment of being seen running in public fuelling him to escape more. He just wanted to get away from anyone who could know him, away from anyone he could embarrass himself in front of.

_Please, please let no one remember me, or know me, I need to just disappear, need to get out, get away, disappear, disappear, need to disappear._

His thoughts muddle together as he continues to run - somehow without knocking into anyone,despite his environment not processing past the feeling of stones hitting his feet harshly.

It isn't until he recognises the different feeling on his feet, and looks at the cold, wet soil underneath. A second later he collapses into his knees.

Grabbing handfuls of dirt, he breathes, chest aching like it was going to explode or his heart was going to overwork itself and give out. The smells of the forest, and wet vegetation hits him, each breath slowing from the previous, his hands loosening their grip.

It’s some time however, that he finally takes a deep breath, and looks up at the surroundings, finding himself in the middle of the forest. This was somewhere he has looked at curiously before but never had the courage to enter, or even ask Asra to take him.

He props himself up, so that he is sat on his legs, and looks up around him, a peaceful and light aura circling around, almost grabbing and pulling all the tension from his body.

Tears freely flow now, despite feeling no sadness, and Dion finds enough strength in himself to stand up and wobble along to one of the trees that swallow up the skyline.

The closer he gets, the more weight is gone, and when he slumps against the bark, he leans the back of his head against the rough surface, smiling softly to himself.

_For the first time since waking up, the panic ever present in his mind was gone, and he felt refreshed._

 

* * *

 

Dion stood in front of this large, mountain of a man, blushing faintly, before looking to the side of him - where Asra stood calmly.

“It’s nice to meet you, Muriel...” Dion tries to steady his voice, but his face just burns warmer when all he gets is a grunt in return.

Muriel was Asra’s childhood friend, so Dion felt this massive weight on him, one which was saying he needed to impress today because this was such an important person to his partner.

He smiles awkwardly, and looks back at Asra, begging for some sort of help with his eyes, and lets out a small sigh of relief when his intent is caught

“Can we come in Muri? I brought some tea...”

Another grunt, and he walks into the hut behind him. Without the worded prompt, Dion falters a little, but Asra walks forward confidently so he shuffles along behind him.

Inside is a young wolf, curled up by the fire, and her head lazily props up to look at Asra.

“This is Inanna” he mutters in Dion’s ear, squeezing his waist lightly, before moving forward and kneeling next to the now stretching wolf, to give her belly scratches.

Dion watches fondly, wondering just how soft the fur on this wolf is, when he feels the warmth almost radiating from behind him. Dion looks over his shoulder, trying to catch Muriel’s eye, but his gaze is entirely focused on Asra.

“You spoil her...” comes a gruff voice, making Dion jump slightly, purely because he hadn’t heard a single word come out of this man’s mouth since they arrived, so he had started to just assume that he didn’t ever speak.

Asra smiles in return, his cheeks dimpling deeply, “It’s not spoiling if she deserves it!” He goes back to vigorously scratching Inanna’s belly, who is wagging her tail happily.

Taking a deep breath, Dion attempts to make conversation again. “He says the same thing with all animals we meet...”

Another grunt in reply, and Dion finds himself playing with the hem of his shirt nervously, dread creeping up a little. He had been so anxious about meeting this friend for so long, that all he wanted to make was a good impression, but it seemed he was really failing.

Muriel was intimidating. Not even because of the size of him - he was intimidating because of who he was to Asra, he could have been short like Dion and still he’d be a shaking mess. Of course, he’d be lying if the size didn’t add onto that, but he also didn’t care that much when he is spoken so highly of.

Asra wouldn’t care so much if he was a bad person.

He just wanted to make a good impression...

“ **Scratch!** ” Comes an angry voice in the back of Dion’s mind, and he sees Faust on the floor, looking up at him.

Smiling, he scoops her up and gets to work on her chin, “I’m sorry princess, are you jealous?” He teases.

“ **Yes!** ” Comes an enthusiastic reply, causing him to laugh, and when he looks over at Muriel to make a comment, he sees a small smile that Muriel quickly tries to hide.

Faust just headbutts his arm roughly, “ **Big Friend** ”

“Sorry...” comes a gruff reply and he pats the top of her head.

Faust radiates happiness - having both pets and scratches she felt suitably spoiled, no longer feeling jealous of the attention Inanna was getting from Asra. Who, Dion notes when looking over, is sat looking up at the two men in his life with a large fondness.

 

* * *

 

Dion didn’t remember all the times he saw Muriel - the large man in the shadows, freaking him out one second and then gone from his memory the next. One day Asra tries to introduce the two, and that’s when Dion finds himself cowering, holding Asra’s hand tightly in his.

Muriel seems to tower over him, silently staring, or in Dion’s viewpoint glaring, while Asra attempts to start a conversation.

“We brought some tea, Muri, if that’s okay?”

He breaks his gaze at Dion, and looks at towards Asra silently for a moment, before turning on his heel and walking inside.

“Come on” Asra says, tugging Dion’s hand lightly to get him to follow in, before timidly standing in the corner of the hut.

A head props up, and Asra starts walking over to the wolf resting by the fire, Inanna’s name on his lips, when she instead rushes past to Dion.

“Oh wow, she’s enthusiastic today, huh Muri?” Asra smiles, “Don’t worry, she’s a big softy...”

He starts, to attempt to calm Dion, but it was an attempt in vain when he looks over to see Dion kneeling down and being slobbered by the giant wolf.

He softly strokes her head, laughing every time she lunges to lick his face, and realising that there was no way to stop it, he opts to hide his face her fur instead. Looking up still smiling he pauses, seeing the shocked faces of Asra and Muriel staring down at him, and he quickly reddens and gets panicky.

“Erm, yes we’ve met... when I’ve been in the forest...” he tries to explain, hiding his face again and continuing to stroke her.

“ _Inanna_ ” comes a gruff voice, and she looks up from his or shoulder, whining softly in reply before cuddling back up

“Leave her be, she deserves strokes...” Asra teases in return.

Muriel grumbles when she ignores him, and moves closer, causing her to whine louder. When hesays her name once again, clipped and rough, Dion stiffens in response.

Logically, he knew that Asra wouldn’t introduce him to someone who was bad, but his anxiety didn’t seem to want to respond to logic - so every time Muriel got closer, he felt the panic take over a little, and his body start to shake. All this didn’t go unnoticed by Inanna, who he was tightly holding onto in a hug. With a wet sniff, ruffling Dion’s hair, she moves away so that she is sat facing towards Muriel, her body between the two of them, and flops her head back up to give Dion a big lick across the chin. Even though she knew Muriel was no danger, she sensed that Dion needed this comfort, and so tried to show him that he was safe.

Although he tries to hide itbehind shaky smiles, it’s clear that the fear is there, and Muriel glares silently.

“ _Fine. Spoil her._ ” Comes a rough response, before he slumps out of the hut on his own.

Muriel wouldn’t say anything, but seeing the effect he had on someone else, was like he was back in his coliseum days - he was just a massive, intimidating man, who could only hurt others. And it showed on Dion’s face that he thought that, or he was at least worried of being hurt, and so he left. Not wanting to bother him with his presence anymore.

Dion knew he messed up, _everything he was anxious about was right... he couldn’t get this important person to like him, of course he couldn’t._

Hanging his head, Dion strokes Inanna’s fur, not wanting to meet Asra’s eye, knowing the second he did, he’d start to cry at his uselessness.

 

* * *

 

_It started with one of Dion’s few remarks, one of the teasing, or cheeky moments that Asra loves to see._

The weather had been cooling, and sat in Muriel’s hut, the second you moved away from the fire, a chill would spread across your arms.

Asra sighs at his friend, concern in his eyes, “Really Muri, you need to wear something... warmer” he gestures towards Muriel’s shirtless chest, just to get a grunt in return as he plays with the fabric of his cloak.

Dion doesn’t even think before responding, “Maybe he just can’t find a shirt that fits,” he teases, then goes a little red in embarrassment. He hasn’t spoken much around Muriel, their meeting still new, and therefore he may not know that this was a joke and not some negative remark...The worry is not needed when he sees Muriel smile softly in return, before hiding it behind his fist - making it clear that Muriel knew that it was just a joke.

Asra’s eyes sparkle, his joy that they are able to get along overly clear in his face, before leaning forward. A mischievous smirk grows on his face, one that Dion knows well, and he prepares himself for what tricks or teasing remarks would be coming his way.

“Maybe you should knit him something, that way he has no excuse not to be warm...”

“Fire is warm...” comes a gruff response, but when Dion looks at the blushing man to his left, he realises that for all it’s teasing, Muriel seems to actually be open to the idea of a gift like this.

He locks eyes with Asra, who’s smug look doesn’t change, and he smiles softly in return, already planning out what he would make in his head.

_Neutral colours - although harder to work with because he uses colour representations to power his spells - would definitely go down with this simple man more. A warm grey possibly, can go with whatever, and not so bright so that he is more likely to be comfortable wearing it._

_His protection spells are out-rivalled by the ones surrounding the forest, but it is definitely something he needed to include, as well as temperature control. There were so many things Dion wanted to include - luck, comfort, warmth, even confidence. He had not known Muriel for long, but he knew that his confidence was low, he lived simply and seemed to feel like he didn’t deserve Asra’s friendship or affection, didn’t deserve any gifts._

 

“Dion?”

He is broken out of his musings, to see them staring at him, Muriel’s usual, almost blank face, and Asra’s knowing smirk.

“Sorry, I got distracted, what did you say?” He mutters, trying to blow over this to hide his embarrassment. Not that it mattered - Asra knew what he would be thinking of, loving the idea once he prompted it.

Sure enough, mere days later, Dion will have finished a plain grey jumper, with simple cables going up the front - and embroidered on the inside, instead of a tag, was a small bear. This was wrapped up on Muriel’s doorstep along with some charms and a loaf of pumpkin bread, left during one of Dion’s walks in the forest.

 

* * *

 

He had no idea of the insecurities that Muriel had, assuming that such a large and strong person would be entirely comfortable with nothing to worry about. Which meant that Dion felt horrible when Asra explained to him how his fear made Muriel react the way he did. Of course, Asra emphasised that this wasn’t Dion’s fault, trying to take away any guilt that he may feel, but it did nothing to calm his thoughts.

Dion looked towards the door which Muriel left through, and took a deep breath, trying to get the strength to go towards him.

Inanna nudges him in comfort, and with a big squeeze, he forces himself up and off the floor, before Asra can say anything on the situation. Asra wasn’t to follow, knowing how hard this is for Dion, being around people in general, let alone someone so intimidating. However, he goes against his instinct and stays in the hut, allowing Dion to face this alone - as much as it hurts not to be there and shelter him from everything.

Dion slowly makes his way towards the stump Muriel is now at, lining up wood, an axe comfortably tucked into his underarm as he does so.

Timid footsteps barely make any noise, the forest seemingly muffling any movement Dion could make, while its usual calming aura helps push him forward a small bit - although he wasn’t completely immune to his anxiety.

“I... Muriel...?”

He doesn’t even know what to say past this, but when the hard eyes turn to meet his, any possible words would have left his mind anyway,

Muriel turns back around, and swings the axe down hard, cracking the wood below in two, and Dion jumps a little, before laughing nervously at himself.

“I...I’m sorry...” he comes out with, scratching behind his ear awkwardly, before playing with his bottom lip, “I’m not very good around people...”

_Shaky breath in, then back out through his nose._

“I get... panicked... so, I’m sorry...”

It was a bit of a lame apology, but he couldn’t muster many words, with said anxiety clawing at his throat, making it feel raw. Silence spreads out, and Dion dips his head, staring at the ground while playing with his gloves - almost tearing a new hole in them with his shaky hands.

“Tea should be ready” comes a gruff voice, as Muriel walks past, pausing to look back at Dion. When their eyes meet, he grunts and continues back in the hut.

Things are still awkward, but a little lighter than before while the group has tea, and sensing that he was becoming a bit drained, Asra leads Dion out to go back to the shop and rest, bag of myrrh being tightly knotted to his belt.

They walk in comfortable silence, Asra hopeful that this means that Dion will finally improve a little, despite being isolated so much.

“Why doesn’t he wear a shirt?”

It was such a sudden question that Asra starts to choke on air, and laughs a little, before looking at the blushing Dion.

“Sorry, it just took me by surprise... why do you care?”

Dion looks off contemplating the question, not sure why this was the first thing that came out of his mouth. It was just something he suddenly became worried about, despite it being something Muriel didn’t seem too uncomfortable with.

“I’m not sure... it’s just... isn’t he cold?”

“Probably... but he can’t find shirts that are his size” Asra adds, and Dion is in too much thought to see his mischievous smirk grow, Asra knowing full well the way that Dion’s mind works.

It wasn’t too long until a bundle is handed to Asra, with a blush explaining how he couldn’t bring himself to take it over. Taking pity on him, Asra takes the package over to the hut.

“ _Do you still have the other one?_ ” Asra asks, knowing it would be unlike Muriel to throw away something so important, but also knowing that he hadn’t worn it since Dion had passed.

Knowing all too well the pain, Asra had hidden many of the scarves he received in the past, except to play with on long journeys in melancholic moods.

He grunted in reply, before moving to the chests and getting out a familiar, surprisingly well kept jumper - despite the many years since it had been made.

Asra laid out the new one next to the old on the bed, smiling. The spells used were very similar, with more emphasis on confidence than the last, and a blue-grey used.

_A calming colour_ he explained, Dion was worried about making Muriel self conscious, or setting off any anxieties, so was very adamant on using the colour while wanting to make it desaturated enough that it wouldn’t be too far from Muriel’s usual colour choices.

As the large hands lightly smoothed over the sleeves, it was simple like the last, with only a few cables being used, this time around the cuffs. Muriel smiles softly to himself, looking at the details.

“They’re bears...” he grunts, showing Asra the cables, intricately twisted into the shapes of standing figures.

“ _Bears..._ ” he lamely replies, his own smile spreading along his lips, as he looks up at his blushing friend, seeing him happier than he had been in some time. Not that he’d ever admit it of course.


End file.
